Monday, March 5, 2012

How funny, it's been a year since I posted.

This year has flown by in some ways. Last year I had a bilateral mastectomy, and it took a LOT of time to recuperate. Struggled with depression, but came out the other side and have been doing pretty well. Time has a way of healing, even when you lose half your family.

Just had my sister Faye's son, Jeff and his wife, Carissa and their 2 year old son Aedan, and Grace, my sister Laurie's daughter, who lives with them, for a nice long visit. Although it always ends too soon. They are perfect guests, and I love them all so much. Aedan is absolutely adorable. He's a Daddy's boy all right, but loves his mama, too. Keith and I enjoyed him so much!

We had a nice family get together here on Saturday and it took me a day to catch up on sleep and ice bags, but I'm ok now. It was totally worth it, we had good times and everyone enjoyed seeing them.

Today I am back on the Belly Fat Cure, and I know I'll feel even better when the sugar's out of my system again. I'm very motivated and have made big changes... like no more artificial sweeteners, other than Stevia, which is plant based. And I rarely use that! I drink a decaf coffee in the a.m., and water all day long.

Belly Fat Cure is based on 2 servings (20 grams or less per serving) of carbs, lean protein, veggies, healthy fats, and 5 grams of sugar per meal. The 2/5 ratio is the magic formula, and I've kept off most of the weight I lost before Christmas, and am now dropping that, slowly but surely. I hate how I feel on sugar! Exhausted and crabby.

I still battle the Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue but it's so much better without sugar. I feel optimistic and hope that someday I can be inspirational to someone out there like me, who's struggled with weight all their adult life. (I was a skinny kid, very active, til age 11, when I developed a degenerative bone disease.)

Sorry this sounds so me, me, I, I, health, diet, etc., but right now that's where I'm at. I hope to do better as things get better. My family is supportive, I try to help around the house but it's hard, and in between a load of laundry or dishes, I rest on my awesome bed... an adjustable Tempurpedic bed. Some days I do watercolors for a while. I hope to get good enough to post here someday.

I can't wait til my group starts meeting on Tuesdays at Bonnie's. I miss them all! We torch and talk. I mostly talk, as I can only torch a short time, I know my limitations. But I'm grateful for that time. It would kill me to give it up completely, as glass has been a huge part of my life for 12 years!

Hey, if you read this, please post and let me know what you are up to!

Monday, February 7, 2011

What's new in my world...

Things that don't kill you make you stronger? Yes, I'll agree with that!

On March 8, 2007 I lost my Mom. We were extremely close, as close as one can be with a Mom, she was a very kind, funny and loyal person. I wear her ring in memory of her, and I have mourned her now for almost 4 years. I know thru talking to others that I will never truly get over this loss, but in time the pain fades.

My health got worse ... Fibromyalgia and a degenerative bone disease, plus arthritis. My husband and I owned a bead store and due to the economy and my health issues, we closed in September of 2008. A few days before we closed, my little sister Laurie was diagnosed with breast cancer.

My older sister and I had had a falling after our Mom died. She was afraid of doctors, and refused to seek medical attention even though she knew she had breast cancer, too. Faye was a very private person and never even told her children she was ill. I received word of her illness six days before she died. I love her and will always love her. Even though she chose this unusual path, it was HER path and I respect her wishes. I just miss her terribly.

Laurie, my younger sister was separated from her husband, and had 3 teenagers. She was my best friend and we grew even closer over the next 18 months. She died in Hospice March 8, 2010.  Three years to the day after Mom.

On May 30th, 2010, my Dad died. I can't describe adequately what it feels like to lose four of the most important, most loved people in your life at once. There have been times that I think I would rather be with them than here, but I have a wonderful husband of 32 years, and two great kids, and my Auntie Lola and Auntie Carol, my nephew Jeff and his wife, and Laurie's daughter Grace. They mean so much to me that I could never hurt them by ending my own pain.

So, in November I had a bad mammogram. I went back for more mammograms and they found small calcifications in my right breast. So I tried to get a biopsy done, but due to my own hysteria and being misled by Cancer Treatment Centers of America, it took a month just to wind up in a local surgeons office for a consultation. I have been considering a mastectomy since 2008, when Laurie was diagnosed. It was only reinforced by Faye's death. I explained this to the surgeon and he thought the calcifications had less than 10% chance of being cancer, and we both agreed that it seemed like it made more sense to go ahead with the mastectomy. He would have the pathology done on the tissue removed during the operation. So on January 12, 2011, I had a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. Imagine my surprise when about a week later he told me the pathology came back and I had breast cancer.

What are the odds that all three of us sisters would have breast cancer??? The surgeon reassured me that all the breast tissue was taken, and the cancer they found was very small and Insitu, so I was cancer free before I even knew I had cancer?

About 10 days ago I had to go back into surgery to remove necrotic (dead) tissue on both sides of my chest. That same day surgery was a breeze compared to the mastectomy. I am still recuperating.

My website is sadly neglected but as soon as he can, my husband will put up photos of  beads that will be available for purchase. We are in the process of losing our home and I am unable to work, but there are many beads still for sale, just not up yet. I will also have him get the sold ones into the gallery.

So that's why the website is stagnant right now. I am hoping that we'll be able to get the beads up soon.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Fibro and my joints have forced me out...

I'm no longer teaching or making beads for sale. Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue and my bone on bone shoulders and knee have forced me out. I can't make a living, I hope they come up with a cure for FMS/CFM soon. It's debilitating and cruel. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.